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Clips From Fox News' New Paid Streaming Channel Just Emerged Online, and Yep, It's About As Painful As You'd Expect
Oh no.
Fox News on Tuesday launched Fox Nation, a conservative streaming news service featuring some of the network's most popular right-wing talking heads.
In the 24 hours since its debut, clips of content from Fox Nation have emerged online and they are just as nutty as you would expect - or maybe even more so.
Daily Beast Editor in Chief Noah Shachtman shared one such Fox Nation compilation on Twitter Wednesday afternoon.
MY GOD. As bad as you imagined 'Fox Nation' is ... it's worse. Click if you dare: https://t.co/jtxYr6eIFC— Noah Shachtman (@Noah Shachtman) 1543439880.0
Breakdown:
The montage begins with Greg Jarrett welcoming listeners to the "Greg Jarrett's 'The Russia Hoax.'" That leads into Brian Kilmeade of President Donald Trump's favorite 'executive time' show Fox & Friends flashing his sports books as he fluffs himself backstage before going to "talk about history." Luckily, cameraman catches some mean side-eye from a viewer standing next to Kilmeade.
Same.
Next, the tape cuts to Tomi Lahren, the snowy-haired commentator who on Thanksgiving rejoiced when asylum-seeking refugees were bombarded with tear gas, eating ice cream (vanilla, obviously) and beaming over "another successful summer at Armadillo's."
Then we get introduced to Cooking with Steve Doocy, based on The Happy Cookbook which he published in 2017 with his wife Kathy.
"We're not in Kansas anymore," Steve Doocy toasted as he sipped a beer a few feet from Dr. Oz on a kitchen set. A second later, Doocy is holding up a dwindling bottle of Tullamore Dew proclaiming: "this bottle was full when we got here," followed by a brief snippet of Doocy detailing his favorite drink (a lightly dirty Ketel One martini with three olives).
Back to Lahren we go. She was in the middle of a rant: "Apparently tortillas and refried beans aren't good enough for these so-called [air quotes] asylum-seekers, imagine that."
After that, Will Watters incorrectly guessed which comic book character - Black Panther, Spiderman, or Superman - was not co-created by Stan Lee. "Oh come on, this is rigged," he exclaimed when the buzzer shot down his answer: Black Panther.
Remember Mark Fuhrman, the evidence-clumsy cop from the O.J. Simpson trial? "After the trial, I was a violent, crooked, racist cop," he recounts. "And it was hard to argue with him."
Following Fuhrman's blurb and a couple of random bloopers, we hear a Chef Teddy talking to David Webb about riding in a "reality check" hot air balloon as the camera sits on a toy man throned on a fake floating basket.
That segues into a Fox anchor sympathizing with "hundreds of parents" who supposedly complained to him that Macy's was "indoctrinating their kids" by showing a same-sex kiss during the Macy's Day Parade.
Closing out the video was Lahren once again, boasting about how good she is at voting.
"I didn't march in the streets with pink hats," Lahren sneered, "but rather marched into the voting booth and elected President Donald Trump." Yeah, thanks for that.
Quality content.
Tomorrow @foxnation takes over the digital and streaming world! Let’s go!!— Tomi Lahren (@Tomi Lahren) 1543293562.0
This is not a still from a porno, it’s a still from Fox nation. https://t.co/oqVrKJTzK8— Molly Jong-Fast (@Molly Jong-Fast) 1543289913.0
Fox News just hired Diamond and Silk The duo have lied repeatedly, turned their declining traffic into a congressi… https://t.co/TYxLZ19EZH— Media Matters (@Media Matters) 1543271520.0
Fox Nation can’t write. @ErikWemple is here to help. https://t.co/32DgEFLo2D— Washington Post Opinions (@Washington Post Opinions) 1543444460.0
uhhh the fox nation lineup is incredible???? https://t.co/DPdMg5fxc3— Ashley Feinberg (@Ashley Feinberg) 1543347282.0
Those on Twitter who watched the Fox Nation shorts wanted their two minutes back.
My main takeaway so far is that Roger Ailes was a monster in about 12 different ways, but he was also a shrewd judg… https://t.co/wIzE7hZKlH— Matthew Gertz (@Matthew Gertz) 1543351444.0
@MollyJongFast @NoahShachtman props tho for getting past 5 seconds - i guess— 🍁RosemaryLafrenière🍁 (@🍁RosemaryLafrenière🍁) 1543440558.0
@NoahShachtman I can never get these 2 minutes back. Thanks— Julie (@Julie) 1543441056.0
This is all too real.
@NoahShachtman Boy, we sure...we sure live in some...some times, don't we? (trembles while pouring large glass of bourbon)— Dark Laughter (@Dark Laughter) 1543440401.0
@andylassner THE REALEST— Noah Shachtman (@Noah Shachtman) 1543443698.0
@NoahShachtman Thank you for tonight's nightmares.— Emily Brandwin (@Emily Brandwin) 1543440063.0
@NoahShachtman Lol I thought it was an SNL skit but nope! Oh good Lord!— nosusanhere (@nosusanhere) 1543441196.0
@NoahShachtman My kids’ school broadcasts are better run and more informative.— I Thank The Gentleman (@I Thank The Gentleman) 1543441727.0
This is not going to be good for anybody.
Case and point:
@slpng_giants I heard a radio (NPR?) report on this that said, "For viewers who want more opinion with their news,"… https://t.co/QBl4yrdEQB— Marty Olliff (@Marty Olliff) 1543336819.0
@slpng_giants Now you can pay to be wildly misinformed about current events!— Clark (@Clark) 1543335854.0
A subscription is only $5.99 per month.
@slpng_giants If you pay for it directly, it's Premium Racism.— To be fairrr... (@To be fairrr...) 1543341250.0
@slpng_giants AND we supposedly need a government run network too. 🤔— Barret Williams (@Barret Williams) 1543335627.0
It was Lahren, however, that drew the full fury of Twitter - because racism is not cute.
@slpng_giants Words cannot describe how much I loathe that woman.— Sue ZQ (@Sue ZQ) 1543335840.0
@impalergeneral @stevemorris__ Yet Paris is more likable.— Dawn Morgan (@Dawn Morgan) 1543333274.0
@4tdsbundy @stevemorris__ A very Bundy thing to say Welcome back Al— You again? (@You again?) 1543377433.0
@stevemorris__ Why is she standing in front of the Russian flag?— Bill Halliday (@Bill Halliday) 1543416636.0
@stevemorris__ So so insane to me that this level of open mouthed racism has now become commonplace on a major news… https://t.co/XSWO7PlWWU— Whit Burnham Brayton (@Whit Burnham Brayton) 1543371487.0
@stevemorris__ What's with the air quotes she does all the time.— Tara Gordon (@Tara Gordon) 1543353163.0
@stevemorris__ It’s absolutely disgusting wat she just said— Chameleon1 (@Chameleon1) 1543330357.0
Lahren should find better role models.
@stevemorris__ What could possibly happen in a person's life that can make them this cold and unfeeling. In all my… https://t.co/tZ9P2lLH9U— Emily Gross (@Emily Gross) 1543348143.0
@stevemorris__ @jaredlholt .@TomiLahren has officially reached her final form. She's Ann Coulter now.— Thor Benson (@Thor Benson) 1543347181.0
One media insider noted that politics has become much like a sport, and audiences are thirsty for the drama.
"Politics is the new sports," said Matt Rizzetta, the CEO of social media and public relations firm North 6th Agency. "You see sports media powerhouses launch paid subscription services, like ESPN. The natural evolution is a political media powerhouse would follow suit."
Republican strategist Ryan Williams said "there is a hunger for more content," though it remains to be seen "whether a subscription service can survive."
Other, similar-style programming has popped up before, such as Mark Levin's $10/month CRTV and the free cable channel Newsmax, which have been relatively successful.
Glenn Beck's The Blaze and conservative video outlet PJ Media, on the other hand, never really took off.
Trump has also toyed with launching a state-run media operation. On Monday, he tweeted his desire to create a "Worldwide Network" to compete with CNN, his fact-checking punching bag.
"Something has to be done" about CNN, Trump wrote.
....and false way. Something has to be done, including the possibility of the United States starting our own Worldw… https://t.co/hIFQy1Snku— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1543261649.0