The climate crisis is just that: a crisis. Temperatures are rising, we're drowning in trash, and if substantial action isn't taken to offset the changing climate within a decade, the damage will be irrevocable.
With the United States government often slow to act, local governments and individuals have begun taking small steps to leave less of a footprint. This includes replacing plastic straws with paper straws. A biodegradable alternative to plastic, these paper straws pose less of a threat to plants and animals when they inevitably end up in the ocean or on the ground.
Apparently that's a display of sensitivity that only a bleeding heart liberal would express, so President Donald Trump's 2020 campaign has begun selling plastic straws.
For just $15 a pack, you too can own the libs.
The Trump campaign is now selling plastic straws because of course https://t.co/LZYa7Pah6k— Jon Passantino (@Jon Passantino) 1563494235.0
The campaign's reasoning?
Liberal paper straws don't work."
And this isn't just some obscure item hiding among hundreds of products in the Trump campaign's website. The president's campaign manager is advertising them on Twitter.
I’m so over paper straws. #LiberalProgress This is exactly what they would do to the economy as well. Squeeze it… https://t.co/0ZdovsAC1W— Brad Parscale (@Brad Parscale) 1563469261.0
Making Straws Great Again #Trump2020 https://t.co/kHXWaUnKt6— Brad Parscale (@Brad Parscale) 1563488068.0
Trump's supporters seem to be eating it up.
@parscale Just put 3 in my cart!!! All the cool kids are going to LOVE these straws!! They are going to be great wi… https://t.co/sAqhRidw11— ⚡️Peni Basse ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 (@⚡️Peni Basse ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫) 1563493636.0
@parscale These radical lefties are going to need straws while they're serving their jail sentences. This product is awesome. 😂🤣😂🤣— ⚖️ The Justice Team ⚖️ (@⚖️ The Justice Team ⚖️) 1563489458.0
@parscale I’m buying these and taking them out to eat here in California. If you feel a tremble, it’s not a earthquake. It’s triggering.— Kambree Kawahine Koa (@Kambree Kawahine Koa) 1563492221.0
But Democrats seem pretty unbothered.
@passantino They should sell sippy cups for tiny hands. That will really own the libs. https://t.co/dNHHEO4S27— Unarmed Teacher (@Unarmed Teacher) 1563498830.0
@passantino “These MAGA straws ensure that you won’t spill one ounce of the @koolaid that @realDonaldTrump has you drinking.”— Tony (@Tony) 1563496055.0
@passantino I must say, as a Lib, I feel totally owned. Totally.— Tom Holmes (@Tom Holmes) 1563498682.0
@passantino @svdate For an extra 5$ they’ll throw it directly in the ocean for you.— Christopher Byrne (@Christopher Byrne) 1563496962.0
To his credit, selling ten straws for $15 because they have his name on them is extremely on-brand for Trump.
@passantino 😂 $1.50 EACH? 😂 😂 Laser engraved? 😂 https://t.co/2xV7mpyL8j— Laura Apollo (@Laura Apollo) 1563498574.0
@passantino @Bencjacobs So that everyone is clear, I sell a pack of 500 straws for about $4. They’re selling 10 for $15. #grifterinchief— AlmostDangerous🧢 (@AlmostDangerous🧢) 1563498006.0
@passantino @Kate_H_Taylor Owning the libs for $1.50 apiece— Laura Northrupumpkin Spice (@Laura Northrupumpkin Spice) 1563494913.0
@passantino They're selling TEN disposable straws for $15.00? I know this is political fundraising; but it's egregious.— Impeachment News 🍑 (@Impeachment News 🍑) 1563497870.0
@passantino The bottom of the gene pool has a lot of suckers in it.— Terry 🌊 ⚜️ (@Terry 🌊 ⚜️) 1563498616.0
Or you can just buy 200 paper straws for eight dollars here.