The New Details We Just Got About That Upcoming 'Cats' Movie Are So Absurd That We Have No Choice But To Be Obsessed

GABE GINSBERG/WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES; TONY BARSON/WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES; @EZWRITES/TWITTER

So let's just get right to the point: The upcoming Cats movie is going to be absolutely batshi* bonkers crazypants wackadoodly-doo insane. That's it. That could be the whole article.

But the details are too good not to obsess over, so here we go!


So okay: This week in Vegas, CinemaCon took place, which is the annual convention for movie theater owners where movie studios present their upcoming rosters. Universal presented Cats, and while it didn't present any actual footage, it presented plenty of details that are just full-tilt batshi* crazy.

To set the stage, let's remember that the cast includes A-listers like Idris Elba and Taylor Swift, divas like Jennifer Hudson, and full-on legends Ian McKellen and Judi Dench. So this is a legit film, not some rinky-dink Mamma Mia kind of popcorn musical.

So how is Universal and Tom Hooper doing this? Dame Judi in cat makeup? Ohhh no. Hooper is using CGI motion capture to turn Dame Judi into a digital cat.

Please read that sentence again.

Then, he is shooting the entire film on GIANT sets with GIANT set pieces so that Dame Judi will be the size of an actual cat and what is going on?!?!

Plus, the whole thing will be shot from the perspective of an actual cat.

Dame Judi Dench is going to be crawling around like a computer version of your mom's cat Whiskers. As James Corden, who also stars in the film, helpfully described it:

“These are people, but they’re cats, and it’s kind of blowing my mind.”

That sentence means nothing and makes no sense and what is this movie and we LITERALLY CANNOT WAIT.

Moving on! How is Hooper going to make sure Dame Judi really looks like a cat? Why, "digital fur technology," of course.

What the ever-loving hell is digital fur technology? Who knows, but according to Hooper, it "create[s] the most perfect covering of fur.” Sure okay!

Also? Everyone took this all VERY seriously. As Vanity Fair reported, in the video that Universal presented, Dench said:

“We spent a very very long time preparing how to be a cat.”

And Idris Elba added that the linchpin to his performance was figuring out how to view the world from “the cat perspective.”

ARE TICKETS AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE YET?

Naturally, people of the internet are losing their entire minds:

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go call everyone I have ever known and tell them everything about this movie. Bye!

MSNBC

As millions of Americans commemorated the legacy of civil rights icon Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., presidential counsellor Kellyanne Conway railed against the impeachment trial of President Donald Trump, set to begin in the Senate on Tuesday.

The President, who leaves for the World Economic Forum in Davos on Monday night, has no public plans to commemorate Martin Luther King Day, prompting reporters to ask Kellyanne how he intended to celebrate.

Keep reading...
HBO

The long-awaited tenth season of HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm premiered this week, and the show's creator Larry David wasted no time in skewering current events.

One of the premiere episode's standout moments came when Larry tried on a red Make America Great Again cap—the signature accessory for supporters of President Donald Trump

Keep reading...
Drew Angerer/Getty Images // Stephen F. Somerstein/Getty Images

President Donald Trump's reaction to white supremacists and neo-Nazis in the aftermath of the Charlottesville riots hasn't been forgotten, even two years later.

The President infamously asserted that there were "very fine people on both sides" at the Unite the Right rally, where white supremacists protested the removal of a confederate statue. The ensuing violence resulted in the murder of counter-protestor Heather Heyer.

Keep reading...
ABC News

The Senate is gearing up for a historic impeachment trial against President Donald Trump, who withheld congressionally approved aid from Ukraine on the condition that its leaders announce investigations against his political opponent, former Vice President Joe Biden.

Days after taking an oath of impartiality, some Republican senators are making the rounds to defend Trump's actions.

Keep reading...
Erik Voake/Getty Images for Hulu via Getty Images // Mark Wilson/Getty Images

Amendment 4—a Florida referendum restoring voting rights to former felons—passed in 2018 with 65% of the vote, paving the way for an additional 1.4 million voters in the swing state.

Republican Governor Ron DeSantis immediately took steps to undermine the public will by signing into law a bill that would only restore voting rights to felons who fully pay all fees and fines imposed after leaving prison.

Under Florida law, court debts left unpaid after three months are referred to private debt collectors, who can then tack on a surcharge of up to 40%.

Keep reading...
John Sommers II/Getty Images

A day after Senators took an oath of impartiality in the impeachment trial against President Donald Trump, the President eagerly announced the team of lawyers who will be defending him.

Two names on the list stood out.

Keep reading...